The Lord Just Knew

Originally when we thought we would be going to Japan in March, we planned on spending just a short amount of time with family, maybe two weeks tops.  With the way things worked out, Sean was able to spend about a week with his family and come to Japan before his report no later than date.  I stayed behind with our daughter because we were still waiting on passports.   At first I was a little annoyed I couldn't come with my husband, we made the choice a long time ago I was going to travel with him.  The thought of traveling with a dog, a cat, and a baby all by myself for 18 hours seemed impossible and I didn't think I could do it by myself.  There were several moments in Idaho, Utah, and Oregon when I realized I was suppose to be there during the time I was, and was actually really grateful that things worked out that way.  I like to see the Lord's hand in all things and choose to look at situations optimistically, maybe it was luck, maybe it is optimism, but I believe this was the way God wanted things to be for us.  Even though I'm grateful for the opportunity to spend with family, I wish we could have figured something else out for travel.  I look at my little daughter and think she is such a trooper and feel terrible for what I've put her through.  The poor thing hates her car seat now.  I did the math, and from the time I choose to visit my mother in Wisconsin, drive back down to Omaha (14 hours), drive to Utah (14 hours) drive up to Idaho (2 hours), drive to Boise to drop Sean off at the airport and then back to Rupert (4 hours), drive back to Utah (2 hours), then make 2 trips up to Idaho to try and sell Sean's truck (8 hours), drive to Oregon from Utah (14 hours), 2 day trips in Oregon both about two hours away from the place we were staying there (8 hours), and our final trip to Seattle where our plane took off from (6 hours). From the end of April to the end of June, my child has been on the road and in her car seat for 72 hours, not including trips to the store and such in between.   72 hours. I would cry every time someone strapped me in that thing as well.  She loves to move and crawl which makes me feel even worse about it.  This was all leading up to an 18 hour travel time over an ocean.  Even though it was hard, the time we spent with our families was valuable.  Here are some photos of us with Sean's family before he left for Japan.  We were all there except for his sister Jenna who is serving a mission in Peru.   For everyone but Sean's mom, it was their first time meeting Ely.  She loves her cousins and I'm so glad she has cousin so close to age as her.  I'm so grateful to Sean's family for helping us get out to Idaho and helping out while we were there.  We had a wonderful visit and miss you all so much already.   

Family BBQ

All of the cousins

 

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

All of the Grand babies with Grandma

Skyping with Jenna on mother's day!  We also were able to skype Kassidy, my sister, who happens to be best friends with Jenna!  I held the laptop up to the computer so they could "see" each other

Ely and her Great Grandma Stapelman

Beautiful visit to the City of Rocks with Sean's cousin Brock

Ely and I stayed on the ground while Sean and Brock went up Bathtub Rock

On Grandma's farm

Visiting Grandpa Ahern for Memorial Day

Saying Goodbye to Omaha

Phew!  So we have been bouncing around the country the past few months.  I'm going to take a minute to rewind and go back to leaving Omaha, which was really really hard!  I miss it so much! Leaving was really emotional.   We grew to love our community and ward so much.  When we were in Idaho and referring to Omaha, we would say the term " back home" which is silly because we are both originally from Idaho, but in all reality Omaha had become home to us.  

Here is a little recap.  We were suppose to be in Japan the second week of March, two weeks before we were suppose to go, I found out I needed surgery.  I said goodbye to my dance students and colleagues the day before I went into surgery which was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever had to do, teaching at ADC was so rewarding and it was hard to leave.  I received the surgery and for about a month it was touch and go as to whether or not we would even be able to go to Japan.  To say this whole experience has been a trial would be accurate.  This has been one of the most anxiety driven experiences of my life.  When we found out we were in fact going this time, everything went so fast.  Things fell in place at the last minute.  When I say at the last minute I mean the last minute.  Movers came to our house with barely enough time to let us clean, our temporary storage people never showed up, and we had to arrange for some friends to watch movers load stuff up from one storage unit just to transfer it to another.  Poor Sean had to paint garbage Rising View walls on his birthday.  In the end, we survived.  We made it out.  It was like Omaha didn't want to let us go, and I was holding onto it as well.  

I would be doing several of our favorite Omaha people an injustice if I didn't take a moment to mention them.  We had an awesome Ward out in Omaha.  When some friends of ours from the ward heard our predicament they offered to let us stay with them before our final out inspection from our duplex.  We would not have made it without these amazing families who watched our pets and let us  crash with them for a few days. 

 When I say crash, I mean breaking through the walls of their home in the most ungraceful way possible.  We did not have it together when we "moved in" to the L's home.   We forget to send our movers with several things, including a whole load of laundry that we left in our washer and dryer that we decided to leave behind, so we had/ still have way more clothes than we originally anticipated on having.   I had boxes full of toiletries that  our movers wouldn't pack, we had garbage that we couldn't find a dumpster for, items that just sort of blended in that was basically just junk.  We were a mess and these awesome people basically let us just bring it into their home until we could get it together (which only marginally happened during our time there).  

During our time with the L's Sean described it as it being like we had been friends with them forever, but in reality this friendship sort of blossomed in the few days that we were there. 

They have a baby that is around the same age as Ely,  and they are in the same phases of life that we are.  Both of them have been to Japan, so they made us some Japanese food and taught us a few words and gave a grammar dictionary.  They fed us some amazing food in general while we were there and provided us with such generous hospitality.   Sean's birthday ended up being the day before our final move out day, so we were still in Omaha waiting to move.  We had a really fun birthday celebration with them the night of his birthday.  

  They are such great examples of disciples of Christ.  They were an answer to our prayers.  I had several moments where I went, I want to be like the L family.  Giving of their time, talents, and basically all they had to people they sort of knew.  We had an epic Family Home Evening with them that lasted a long time.  Even though it was long, we had some really good discussions.  It was so appropriate for what was coming next for us.   It was based on being more outgoing and friendly to those around you so they would feel comfortable learning about the Savior from you. Through some of the experiences they shared, I made it a goal of mine to be more outgoing at our next base, to be like the L's and take all of my neighbors cookies (stuff like that terrifies me) and generally be more friendly and to make friends!  It took me a LONG time to make friends in Omaha. I blame that partly on Sean being my best friend, being newlyweds and only wanting to spend time with him.   I also could be more outgoing and friendly.  The L's are a good example of how to do that.  I will be eternally grateful for them and what they did for us in those few days.  I know, without a doubt, that us staying with them was a part of Heavenly Father's plan.

While we were staying with the L's, we had another group of friends watching our cat Converse for us.   We figured that the L's family doubled in size when we moved in for a few days; a mom, dad, baby, and another dog.  We all decided it would be best if Converse stayed elsewhere so the dogs didn't gang up on him.  Our friends D&J said they could watch him for us, which was quite heroic of them regarding the circumstances.   It was during D's final's week, and they have 2 other cats, one of them being quite territorial.  Somehow they made it work in their 1 bedroom apartment.  They have saved us more times than I can count.   They moved to Omaha at the most perfect time,  Sean was deployed and I was in need of some company.  When Sean came home he and J hit it off right away and I would say now are the best of friends.  They were there for us when we had our baby, have watched the pets for us a number of times, and done so many random acts of kindness for us.  We are going to miss them.  I'm glad we had so many adventures together.  I'm glad Heavenly Father brought them into my life when he did.   Here are some pictures from our last hoorah. We miss you guys so much already!  

   Until we meet again! 

Mother's Day- Favorite Teachings

It's crazy to think that a year ago we were announcing that we were expecting a baby.  It was such a magnificent day.  I am so grateful for this little girl who has made me a mother.   It has been the most fulfilling thing I have ever done.  I've probably said that before, and I will probably say it again.  Motherhood has been the most amazing gift, privilege, and calling.  I love it.  I'm grateful for my own Mother, Grandmother, and Mother in Law who have all demonstrated different positive traits of motherhood.  I've decided to share some of my favorite teachings each of these women have taught either in lesson or by example.  

I was six months pregnant in the above photo, Ely is six months old in the bottom photo!  

My Mother

This is one of my favorite photos of myself and my mother from my infancy.  My own Mother grew up without one.  Her Mother died when she was nine and her Grandmother died when she was twelve.  I cherish photos because my Mom cherished photographs.  She only has 1 photograph of her Mother, and I have ever only seen one photograph of her Grandmother.  She showed me how precious photos are and the individuals we come in contact with in those photos.  I remember her working hard when I was young to support our family.  I am grateful for this and for that example.  She moved to the USA from Chile and did not know English, yet she still worked and eventually went to college while supporting a family and became a nurse.   She always taught and continues to teach me to expect the best for myself, and not to let anyone take advantage of me.  I accredit this teaching as to why I have an incredible husband, because I wouldn't accept anything less than the best in a spouse.   

My Mother In Law

Another woman whom I accrediting my amazing spouse to.  I am grateful for her and that she raised her son right.  She cherishes family and motherhood.  I see the way she approaches each one of her children's specific needs and admire that.  She sees her children for what they can be yet acknowledges who they currently are and supports the progress they are making in their life.  I have always felt loved and supported by her even before we were married.  Before I was married or even had prospects for marriage, I always feared not getting along with my future Mother in Law.  I not only get along with her, and feel loved by her, but I feel incredibly comfortable with her.  In a way I have forgotten about the separation between my family and Sean's family, it's just family.  I think she has been influential in breaking those barriers.  She came to stay with us 2 weeks after Ely was born and it was so comforting.  I'm grateful we have her, I'm grateful my daughter has her for a grandma. 

My Grandma

Ely finally got to meet my Grandmother this week.  I remember my Grandma saying  that she was grateful that my Grandpa was able to support her so she could stay home to raise her children.  I loved that she shared that with me.   I have a hard time not working, and with our current move I'm sure it will take me a while to find a job.  Instead of being frustrated with the job search, I am going to cherish the days I have with my little girl.  My Grandma is one of the most amazing people that I know, for her to set that example to me is a comfort and will help me see how privileged I will be during the instances in my life when Sean will be supporting me and I can stay home with Ely.  When we visited this week, she watched Ely so Sean and I could go to the temple.   I was so excited to leave my daughter with her, because my Grandma was the best babysitter when I was little.   If it wasn't for my Grandma, I probably wouldn't have the testimony I have of my faith in the LDS church.  She took me with her to church every Sunday and helped me to develop a testimony.  I am forever grateful for that.   

Wisconsin Visit

Rewinding back a few weeks, I was able to visit my mother and say goodbye to her before our voyage to Japan.  We have had SEVERAL hours of long car rides across the country to visit family.  She lives in Wisconsin, and even though it was a short visit, it was a nice one.  It was sort of an unplanned trip, but Sean and I felt strongly that we needed to make the effort for me to visit.

  Ely loves her Grandma.  She laughs the most whenever she is with my mom.  She is always so content and spoiled when she is with Grandma.  It  made me feel very special and helped me to feel excited when I was pregnant to talk to my mother. I'm not sure who out of our family members was the "most" excited, but if I could pick one person besides myself or my husband I'm pretty sure my mother was the most excited.  Here are a few pictures from our visit.  

Ely and her Grandma Lily

Mac & Cheese Pizza on the left from Ian's pizza.  A must try guilty pleasure.

My mother's friend Claudia who has been a part of my life for a while now.  I am grateful for her friendship to my mother.   

We rode the ferry across the river!  Wisconsin is so beautiful!  

I love how unenthused Ely is here.  She is so over the photos. 

Wisconsin State Capitol.  I'm grateful that this visit was peaceful and positive.  I hope my mom can come visit us while we are overseas.  

Medical Clearance Part 2: The Facts & How to Prepare

I've thought long and hard about how to write this, and if I was even going to write it at all.  I mostly am doing this to help someone who may be able to use this information, because a few months ago I was desperately looking for it.  Throughout this whole PCS process, I've found myself saying over and over again, "I wish I would have known that".  You don't know what you don't know.  When we decided that these orders where something we wanted, I thought that was that.  As a disclaimer, I do not intend to speak poorly about my husband's employer (the AF) but simply present facts, my experiences, and occasionally my frustrations.  I will not publish this until we know if we have or do not have clearance,  as I write most of it, it still remains a mystery.  I'm trying to do this so it remains as level headed as possible and unbiased.--- (Update if you read my last post, we found out we received clearance, most of this was written before we knew!)

Like I said before, when we first got the orders to move to Japan, I thought  that meant we were for sure going.  I mean it's ordered of my husband to go. I started researching things I needed to be doing in order to prepare for the move and things I needed to be doing on my part.  I joined a spouses Facebook page that was related to the base we are going to, and started following the forums there.  I quickly learned that our pets would require a lot of work before they would be permitted to go, and took care of that as quickly as possible.  I mostly kept all networks open and was always listening for something I could do because I had never done this before and didn't really know what to expect.  Until it was too late, I found out what medical clearance was, and even when I wanted to know more, the resources I found were very limited. Read the packets that the Exceptional Family Member Program  (EFMP) gives you, several times if you have to so you can be as educated as possible in regards to all of this.

So What is Medical Clearance and why do I need it?  I am still learning this as I go.  I'm sure more seasoned spouses out there could probably give a much more in depth version of this, but so far this is what I've learned.  The gaining base wants to make sure they have what they need in order to care for your health needs.  Do not make the mistake of thinking, like I did, " It's a hospital, of course they have what I need."  They may not, and they may not be able to care for the most simple of things.  It took 3 doctors to review my paperwork to determine if I was cleared, just because the base you are presently at says you are healthy and you are cleared by your family doctor does not mean you are cleared.  I thought I was.  She said I was healthy, to my face at least.  After we saw her I thought that was that, and I was medically cleared, but that was only one tiny step.  My paperwork that my family doctor fills out is then sent to another doctor on base, who we had to make a fancy appointment for, he reviews everything and then sends it to the gaining base.   THE DOCTORS AT YOUR CURRENT BASE HAVE NO SAY IN WHETHER YOU ARE MEDICALLY CLEARED OR NOT.  They merely present the facts about your health and write them on paper and fax that paper to the gaining base.  It is the GAINING BASE that determines whether or not you are medically cleared. If you are denied medical clearance, you have one opportunity to appeal the denial. I wish I would have known that. You don't know what you don't know.  

How this has affected our lives- During my pregnancy my ultra sound tech found a cyst on my ovary. I was reassured by my doctors that it wouldn't hurt my baby and that after I delivered, it could go away, but if it didn't or if it flipped the ovary it could require surgery.  I was reassured time and time again that it was very unlikely that it would not require surgery.  After I had my baby, my doctors never mentioned it again, when I brought it up, they seemed like my concern was an annoyance.  I insisted that we investigate it further.  I had no idea this would result in being denied medical clearance.   My doctors determined that it was a large cyst (9 centimeters) but at the time didn't think it required surgery, and determined that they would watch it, if it gave me pain, it could potentially require surgery, but it really was fine where it was and we were hoping it would get smaller.

When it came time to do my medical clearance paperwork, I didn't realize how important that paperwork was.  I did it in the lobby of our doctors office, I did not know the intense network of people it would go through and I did not think it would affect our future so much.  This paperwork, is probably the MOST important paperwork you will do as a spouse during an overseas PCS.  Also, once we were denied clearance, I found myself saying, " I never should have told that doctor about my cyst!"  Because she seriously did not know, the doctors at our clinic are pretty bad about communication and charting.  Come to find out, that the gaining base would find out and I could have been in some trouble for not providing that information.  Do not lie on your paperwork!  If you have a problem, state it.  My family doctor made some phone calls to the baby doctor that found the cyst, and I'm confident that the way she wrote it, did not help our case " Patient has 9 centimeter cyst on ovary, which may require immediate surgery."- Geeze, thanks for the reassuring details that I am healthy!  At the time, I didn't think anything of her wording. THE WAY YOUR CASE IS WRITTEN MATTERS!  I've learned that the more positive details your doctor can provide is the way to go.   After all this learning experience, I think to myself , Goodness! Of course we were denied clearance!   Just because your doctor went to school for 8 years, and is in the military, do not assume they know what they are doing with this paperwork.  I've done this paperwork twice now, and had to hold both of our doctor's hands and help them along the way both times.  I'm pretty sure we were the first overseas medical clearance both of our doctors have done, and in all fairness it can be a tad confusing.

At this point we were on a bit of a time crunch and I didn't realize it, after this paperwork was done, we had to schedule a meeting with the head doctor who is in charge of signing off on the paperwork.  He conveniently only sees people on Wednesdays after a certain time.  Cool.

At this meeting, this doctor did not seem remotely worried about my cyst, he said it would be unlikely it would cause any issues. It didn't mean that my heart didn't sink at this meeting and I lost a little bit of hope.  Another thing I thought a long time about writing, but because I have heard so many people are denied medical clearance in relation to this I thought I would share.   When I was pregnant with Ely, I was going through a rough time emotionally.  My parents divorce was affecting me, and things that normally didn't bother me did on a whole new level.  I was really struggling with depression, and I didn't want it to affect my baby so I started seeing a therapist.  At this fancy Wednesday meeting, this doctor highly encouraged me to have my therapist re-do her part of the paperwork.  She, like my other doctor wrote about one sentence stating that I saw her a few times, and that was about it.  My doctor told me that Japan is very selective about mental health, and that if I saw her when I was pregnant and that it was mostly pregnancy related, that would be very favorable to my case.  He encouraged me to have her write as many positive details about my mental health as possible.    That was the truth, and I really have no intention of seeing a therapist again.   I struggled when writing this, because I don't want a spouse to read this and think that in order to successfully get overseas orders, that they shouldn't ever see a therapist.  If you need help, please seek it!

After this meeting I learned that if you have seen a therapist in the past 5 years, that is taken very seriously and it must be documented in your clearance. Even if you are fine now but saw a therapist or had a mental health ailment 5 years ago, that is taken into consideration.  Many cases like this that are denied are appealed and accepted however!  If you receive orders to Japan and have a mental health history, do not lose hope and do not think you would be denied like I did!

It took about 5 days to have my therapist re-do the paperwork, when your spouse's Report No Later Than Date is approaching a few days here and there can be really stressful.  Once it was submitted they told us that Japan had 14 duty days to respond.  Duty days, so that did not include the weekends or any holiday that might have fallen during that period.  Our EFMP worker told us she would request that it would be expedited because we were coming close to Sean's report no later than date.  They got back to us in about a week, and that week of waiting was one of the most anxious weeks of my life.  I'm pretty sure I cried every single night.  Poor Sean.  I was convinced that we would be denied clearance because I saw a therapist.  Every night I would sob " I wish I never saw a therapist!  I really didn't need it!"  Sean was so awesome and reassuring and even said a million times, " Ely is healthy, I would rather have you seen the therapist, and have you and her be healthy, than have the orders to Japan.   I would gladly loose the orders for that."  He has been really awesome about balancing out how stressed I have been & hiding any concerns he had.


In my last post I mentioned being prompted to schedule an appointment with my doctor about a consult for surgery, I figured that it might be a good idea to explore options once we went so in case I needed surgery in the future I would be able to go to a doctor in Japan and explain what I needed done.

At this point, I still thought it was the therapy that was going to cause the denial, and that once we received clearance, they really couldn't say anything about me getting surgery.  I called and scheduled a consult to talk about surgery that morning.  I figured I could get surgery shortly after my last day of work, and because Sean was pushing his RNLT date back, we would be well on our way and fine.

The same day I called to make the appointment for the consult, we received the phone call afterward stating that we were denied clearance because of the cyst.  I was a little relieved it was because of the cyst and not the therapy, and yet very heartbroken.   We could appeal this, and I already had the consult for surgery scheduled, but it didn't mean that I wasn't incredibly sad.  After the phone call I held my daughter and cried, I'm pretty sure for the duration of the day.  I jumped into high gear and didn't want just a consult, but to get the surgery scheduled ASAP!  I was disappointed I couldn't pick the day, I had two days to pick from out of the whole month, one at the beginning and one at the end. I of course picked the earlier one, but it meant that I had to cut nearly several days off of my last week of work from a job I loved.  It also meant I had about 2 weeks, to get my life in order before surgery.

My surgeon told me because the size of my cyst to expect a 6 WEEK recovery, and that as my doctor she couldn't turn in the appeal until after 6 weeks post operation.  That was not the news I wanted to hear.  She also said that she would try to do it laparoscopically, but it would most likely be an incision similar to a C-section and to prepare for that when planning care for my little one.  She told me I probably wouldn't be able to pick up my daughter for 2 weeks and would have to be cautious holding her.  I did not want to hear that either.  She told me to expect at least 3-5 days in the hospital.  I did not want to sleep in a building where my daughter wasn't!  I was so not ok with getting this surgery, but was more willing to do it because I knew it was what God wanted me to do.  My surgeon also told me that it was actually a really smart thing for me to be doing, because the cyst had so much scar tissue around it, that if I would have waited, it probably would eventually result in the removal of my ovary and tube.  What?  She prepared me for that as well and said she would do her best to not remove ovary tissue but because it was so large it was a big possibility.  Where was this information even a few weeks ago when all these other doctors said it wasn't such a big deal????

The day of my surgery, I woke up to a sweet nurse telling me everything went well.  The poor thing, she told me that they drained the cyst and didn't remove it.  I was still heavily sedated and I kind of chewed her out because I wanted it removed.  She told me that I was lucky and that because they were able to drain it, that they were able to do the surgery laparoscopically.  This was good news.  This also meant I could go home from the hospital that day.  I could be around my little girl!  I only had to pump and dump one day, and my pain was manageable enough that I didn't need the heavy narcotics so I didn't have to use freezer milk as much as I thought.  I felt so fortunate with this alone.  After 3 days, I could walk around the house.  After about a week I could pick up my little girl out of her crib.  At my 2 week appointment, my surgeon explained that once they got in that they were able to drain the cyst, and that was the best option.  She also randomly said "Your cleared!".  I had to ask her at least three times what that meant.  She originally told me it would be 6 weeks of recovery, not 2.  She explained that if I had gotten the bigger incision that my recovery would have been 6 weeks, but because it was laparoscopic, that two would be sufficient.  She said, "I will note on your chart you are medically cleared."  She obviously had never done medical clearance paperwork before.    She was in for a fun roller coaster ride with me.  She kindly started the paperwork, did it once incorrectly, I had to make an appointment to explain to her how to properly do it.  Again what you write and how you write it matters, I hated to be breathing down her neck but this appeal was our last shot!

Phrases like "Needs no further updates" and words like "stable" and "benign" or very very important when your doctor is filling out paperwork.  I had to stress this to her, the first time she wrote it out, she wrote "Patient is cleared"- this is not the way to go about writing medical clearance paperwork, because technically she isn't the one doing the clearing, Japan is.  I'm not sure why it took so much to get her to understand this, I love this doctor as she delivered our daughter and don't want to make her sound like uneducated, I think it was a matter of getting her to REALLY care about me.  This whole process has taught me that  you just have to be relentless and annoying sometimes. That is so not within the bounds of my personality.  If you are going through this, make your doctor wind down, the ones out at our clinic are always in a hurry!  If their handwriting is sloppy, make them do it again!  Stress the importance of this and educate them about it, you might be the first person they are doing this paperwork for.

So after this was completed I was able to turn it into EFMP.  I have a love hate relationship with EFMP.  The two women that work there have been so helpful and I'm confident that if they didn't educate me on how to get my doctors to phrase their wording that we probably wouldn't have clearance right now, but we have had  a few issues with them.  Do not assume that they will remember who you are or your case, which is completely understandable because they see a ton of people every week.  Every time we went in, I had to say who I was and explain what was going on.  They told us once we had our appeal in that it probably shouldn't take as long as it did last time, but with a word of caution that Japan has an infinite amount of days to get back to us on an appeal.  That was great news, and Japan did get to us quickly ( I think 4 days), it was our EFMP that sat on the paperwork and didn't get it sent off.  3 weeks from the day we turned in our paperwork we heard back from Japan.  It's ok to be relentless and annoying, because we were trying to be passive and polite, and it wasn't until we called and bothered them to see if they had heard anything that they got it together and sent it.

The day we received clearance, Sean woke me up in bed and gave me a breakfast burrito from our favorite food truck and said "Happy Medical Clearance Day!"  April 16th will forever be a day in which we eat breakfast burritos and celebrate that good news.  I am  beyond grateful.  Before this, I had all these things that I wanted for Japan and would be unhappy if we didn't get our way.  Before I needed a house with a yard, I needed shopping close by, I needed a car with air conditioning, and I needed my same ordinary groceries that I am use to.  Now, I will be grateful for whatever we get, I will live in a tower, and drive a junker car, and eat crazy strange foods even if it is every single meal.  I will just be grateful and happy we are there.

So this isn't the case everywhere, at our current base this is how things go for Sean to out process....
Medical Clearance
Order Passports- You cannot order military passports here until you have medical clearance, from what I have heard from other spouses over in Japan, their base did not require this- this is a 6-8 week wait, we will be waiting with family when Sean leaves, this was not our original plan, but again I am just grateful we are going
Schedule Movers- They need 5 weeks in advance, you cannot schedule movers until your spouse has their official orders, official orders do not happen until the whole family has their medical clearance and passports.

Now I know why they give orders several  months in advance.  Do not wait to get started on these items!  It takes a while, and I look forward to wrap all of this up!   Feel free to comment, and add facts, opinions, and experience.  I'm the first to admit that I am learning as I go.

Medical Clearance Part 1: Faith& Patience

So I will eventually publish my blog post all about medical clearance and the adventure it was for us.  This one is more of the emotional aspect of waiting for it.  

Two weeks before we were suppose to be moved to Japan, we found out that I was denied medical clearance, which basically meant we could not go.  Unless the issue regarding my health was resolved and I was healthy,  it meant that we would lose the orders. The day we found out, I was devastated.  Sean wasn't home and when I received the phone call.  I remember hanging up the phone, and held my daughter as I sobbed.  I was so heartbroken, and definitely thought the worst of the scenario.  Even if we appealed the decision, we could still be denied again and that would definitely mean we were not going.   I was so certain that the issue I was having wouldn't cost us the clearance before we submitted the paperwork that I had already made arrangements and plans for the move, I was even considering selling my car, thank goodness I didn't!  

Appealing the denial would mean surgery for me which I did not want to do!   Before we had even been denied clearance, I felt an impression from the spirit to call my doctor for a consult for surgery and to tell Sean to see if he could move his report no later than date.  It is amazing how the Lord looks out for us, and guides our lives.  I stubbornly made the appointment, thinking that sure I'll go in one more time and just explore my options of having surgery before moving or having surgery once we got to Japan and Ely was done breastfeeding.  That was my biggest concern, I didn't want to miss out on breastfeeding my daughter and I was terrified my supply would dry up during my recovery period, even with pump and dump.  Once we were denied clearance, I was able to use that appointment I made for the "consult" to actually be my pre-op appointment to get me ready for surgery.  The whole process went very fast. I was not mentally prepared and didn't think I had enough breast milk stored up.  It was not the way I saw that month going.  4 days after my surgery was suppose to be the day we left to go see family in Idaho before we went to Japan.  As an avid planner, I was very frustrated with my situation.  I wish now I had spent more time being grateful for the spiritual insight I was given than being bitter and angry that I had to receive surgery.  

The blessings didn't stop with that little bit of help however!  I was told that my incision  during my surgery would be similar to a C-section and while they would try to do what needed to be done laproscopically, to prepare myself for the larger incision.  I was told that I wouldn't even be able to see a doctor for my post- op to see if I was ok to travel at least 6 weeks after the surgery.   When I woke up from surgery, I didn't have a big incision!  I was sore, but I only had such small incisions that the doctor used fancy super glue to close them up because I received a laproscopic procedure. I was able to feed my daughter 24 hours after the surgery confidently because I hadn't taken narcotics or anything to heavy for the pain.  When I went into my 2 week post -op appointment, my doctor told me she would do my appeal paperwork right then!  I couldn't believe it.  Yesterday April 15, was suppose to be my 6 week post- op, then we had potentially 2-3 weeks worth of waiting to see if we had the clearance.  For this, I am extremely grateful that we found out today.  

In writing so far, I've been fairly positive, mostly because I am so ecstatic that the news we received today was good.  Up until today my attitude has not been so great.   After we turned in our paperwork 3 weeks ago, and the recovery period before that, I have been so anxious and stressed.  I apologize to  any human who came in contact with my during that time if I was short with then or was in general a Debbie Downer.  I do not take trials gracefully, and I am sure I was suppose to learn a lot of things from this experience.  I found it incredibly ironic during this time, it was my turn to teach the visiting teaching message for March.  I'm going to  place that right here 

"

The Attributes of Jesus Christ: Long-suffering and Patient

This is part of a series of Visiting Teaching Messages featuring attributes of the Savior.

Patience is often thought of as a quiet, passive trait, but as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, said, “Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something … even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!”

In our premortal life, our Heavenly Father prepared a plan for us—His spirit children—and we shouted for joy at the opportunity to come to earth (see Job 38:7). As we choose to align our will with His during our earthly life, He “will make an instrument of [us] in [His] hands unto the salvation of many souls” (Alma 17:11).

President Uchtdorf continued, “Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being ‘willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father’ [Mosiah 3:19]. Ultimately, patience means being ‘firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord’ [1 Nephi 2:10] every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so.”¹

Additional Scriptures

Psalm 40:1; Galatians 5:22–23; 2 Peter 1:6; Alma 17:11

From the Scriptures

The scriptures tell us that in our earthly life, we should “be patient in afflictions, for [we shall] have many.” God then gives us this comforting promise, “Endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days” (D&C 24:8).

The following Bible story is an example of patience and faith.

“And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years … touched the border of [Christ’s] garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched [stopped].

“And Jesus said, … Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.

“And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.

“And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace” (Luke 8:43–48).

Like her, we can find blessings and comfort, and even healing, as we reach out to Jesus Christ—whose Atonement can heal us.

Consider This

From the account in Luke 8, how was this woman’s years of patience and then her faith in Jesus Christ rewarded? "  

The link to the actual website.:The Attributes of Jesus Christ: Patience and Long suffering

I taught this lesson at least twice, and received it in my own home once.  I was at a point where I told Sean that I didn't even care if we went to Japan anymore, that I've given up hope and I didn't want to get excited to get my heart broken again.  My visiting teacher gave me this lesson shortly after that, and she shared something with me that at first I had a hard time with, but I am so grateful for now, that patience is also not giving up hope.  What?  So now, not only do I have to endure this trial gracefully, full of faith and whatnot, but I have to have hope as well?    I. Am. Not. Patient.   I am one of the worst of my generation that wants instant gratification quickly.  This whole experience has really helped me learn patience & faith.  

In my dramatic storytelling of my ordeal to my missionary sister Kassidy in the Phillipines, she sent me this little bit in her letter on faith 

"It's amazing what it can do when we just DON'T DOUBT OR FEAR! like I have been really praying IN FAITH for Person A and Person B and that Heavenly Father will send someone to Person A's aid to help her and and she told me just now that she got a calling in church yesterday!!!!!!!! like WOOOOOOO! I know if i would have doubted, she might have not been prompted to accept or wouldn't of even gotten the opportunity! i have been seeing miracles like that allll over the last few days...like i've been reallly sick lately, but i got a blessing with complete faith that it would work but i also had faith to accept God's will (whether it be to be completely healed or just strengthened enough to bare it) and since i had faith, i feel loooooaaaddss better..and when i feel kinda sick to my tummy, i still have energy and motivation to do what i need to do.

 For you, i pray specifically that if it be God's will for you and your family, that he will soften the hearts of those in charge and prompt them to let you be cleared. I think the faith part comes with being patient and willing to accept his will and timing for you! anyway. that's my sermon for today:) haha i love you and your little family so much. I actually had a dream i was at your house and i let converse and rocco out and had to chase them haha you were maddd..hehe anyway. MAHAL KITA...Tell sean and Ely MAHAL KO KAYO!  <3

-Sister norman"

--- As I wipe tears away, Who is this woman that is my baby sister?  I mean look at that goofball on the left with the goat!  During a time in my life when I needed comfort and someone to tell me this, I never imagined she would be so learned, and understanding of the things that are truly important in this world such as faith! 

It has required so much faith to get through this, to not give up and fight for the appeal.  We have prayed every single day for this and I am so grateful that our prayers were heard!  I'm sure we have more hurdles to jump over, but I am so glad we are past this one!  

Happy Easter!

My little one is experiencing her first Easter today!   We wanted to wish everyone a joyous Easter!  I testify that my Redeemer lives, that because of Him my family can be together forever, that death isn't the end.  Today we celebrate His triumph over death. I am grateful for Christ, for His example and sacrifice.  He was the ultimate example of love, service, and humility.  It is my hope that my daughter comes to love and know Him throughout her life. I hope that as she grows, as people come to know her, that they get to meet Him through her actions and behavior.