Week 22

Independence Day has always been one of my favorite holidays.  The past two years my sister has been in Omaha to help me celebrate the fourth of July and this year I finally had Sean with me.  Sean was given a 4 day weekend and I had the week of the fourth off, we decided to take advantage of these precious days together before our baby arrives and take a little trip for ourselves.  The day before we left for our trip we watched fireworks at the base lake with some friends, and the following morning we woke up bright and early to head to Nauvoo, Illinois.  Our faith is very important to us, in Nauvoo there is a rich history of my ancestors and of the development of our faith, the Latter Day Saint religion. This is one reason why it is a popular visiting spot for tourists, it also happens to be really beautiful and peaceful there.  I had been there three times as a child but Sean had never been there.  It is fairly close to where we live, we have had the intention of going since we moved here and decided it was next on our travel list when the opportunity arose.  

With it being 5 hours away, I was grateful we decided to stop on the way there at a car show in Des Moines.  We saw a series of old vintage cars on the road and we were wondering if there was a car show nearby, we saw several of them pulling into the fairgrounds so we followed and hoped it would be something worth seeing.

 It was quite spectacular.   I love anything romanticized and vintage, I dream of owning a restored vintage car one day, particularly that blue convertible I have pictured up top.  Maybe Sean will get it as a 40th birthday present.  Sean is much more knowledgeable about cars in general than I am, I think they are beautiful, he has other reasons he finds them fascinating.  We don’t ever deviate from the plan when traveling long distances, but being pregnant has shown to have it’s advantages, I’m so glad we chose to do something out of the ordinary to “take a break” from the road, because this was the biggest car show we have ever been to.

We were there a little over 2 hours and didn't even get to see all that there was to see. It was quite overwhelming.  It really had the spirit of Independence Day there as well, there is something incredibly nostalgic about visiting these old cars and the stories behind them, reminiscing about how far they have come as well as our country, plus I have been craving fair food like crazy and there were several options to choose from.

It was really hard to pick, but the foot long corn dog won along with the coke soda pop that I allowed myself (hadn't had one since I became pregnant and I love them!) Sean ate a brat, it was already a great fourth and it wasn't even noon yet.  I was already really grateful to have Sean with me on this day, last year he was deployed and the year before he was gone on TDY.  It was fun stumbling in on something that we both really enjoyed, with it being so unexpected and we didn't even realize how big it was we were sort of thrown back and amazed with the whole event.  If we ever go to Nauvoo again, I think we will break the trip up and plan on doing something in Des Moines, it definitely didn't feel like it took as long getting there as it did coming back.

Once we got back on the road, we made it to Nauvoo in about 3 hours.  We first stopped at the visitors center to see what was going on in the area that weekend.  We decided to go to old Nauvoo and tour the old buildings.  We visited the cultural hall, the family living center where the Senior LDS missionaries are demonstrating old skills and crafts from the pioneer days, the Skoville bakery, the tinsmith, the gunsmith, and the brickyard.  I had been in the cultural hall before to watch plays, but I had never been up to the top to see the dance area, from this place you can see a remarkable view of the temple through the windows.

 There was also a quilt display in this building, a woman donated a family quilt that made it across the ocean from Europe and across the plains to Salt Lake.  It was over a hundred years old and looked so good, it made me feel pretty bad about the one Sean's grandma gave us for our wedding, I don't think we have shown it the care it deserves, and definitely not quite that excellently to make it last a hundred years or more!  I love visiting all of the re-enactment shops in old Nauvoo, it demonstrates how simply people once lived and how hard they had to work every single day, there simply were no lazy days if you wanted to eat.  Once everything closed down, we got dinner at the Nauvoo Hotel.  I'm not really big on buffets, I actually sort of really dislike them, I've come to make an exception during pregnancy.  They are totally cool when pregnant.  Usually we don't eat enough to make it worth the money and there is something so informal about them, but on this trip, during this particular point in my pregnant life, this buffet did appeal to me.  It was pretty good, would I ever eat there not pregnant?  Probably not,  but the point is I am, and I'm particularly good at eating abundantly right now and I enjoyed it.  

Following dinner  made it to our camp site at Camp Nauvoo.  You can camp in Nauvoo for $5 dollars a night per person in a tent.  The cheapest hotel we could find was for $80 dollars a night, we were all over the camping idea! I've been wanting to go camping for quite some time, and even though this wasn't the camping I was use to, it was something.  I don't think camping counts unless it's in the wilderness, but considering my size, I was sort of glad we got our fill of camping for the summer in a not so wild place.  There was a nice clean, shower house, and an electrical box by our tent (so convenient for charging cell phones)!  We were pretty spoiled and I thought it was funny.

 We weren't allowed to have a fire unless it was elevated off of the ground in a fire pit.  I thought the whole ordeal was funny and "easy" in comparison to what we usually do, until it was time to go to bed and sleep on the ground.  This was one of those times I shouldn't have been trying to make a point to the universe that camping doesn't count unless you sleep on the ground.  An air mattress would have been a great idea, a cot an even better one, what we have are these really thin little foam mattresses that fill slightly with air.  We slept on rocky ground about 2 summers ago and I thought they were the coolest mattresses ever because I slept fine that night.  Well our first night camping was quite miserable for me.  Parts of me are just heavier than they were two summers ago camping.  My hip bones and shoulder bones dug into the ground and I woke up several times throughout the night trying to get comfortable. I woke up so sore the next morning, talk about a humbling experience and trying to connect with the pioneers.  I don't know how those women did it!  I can't stand it when people whine on camping trips, so I felt like the biggest loser telling my husband that this was a "never again!" situation.  However, the following night we had an extra sleeping bag Sean layered over the mattress and it saved my life.  I slept fine our second night and I didn't wake up a million times and I wasn't really sore in the morning!  So that was a win!  You can camp when pregnant, or at least five months pregnant!

I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to attempt it again past that point, but I go back on my "never again" statement.  It was so much more fun than staying in a hotel.  You have the best conversations around slowly burning embers before officially calling it a night.  We think camp Nauvoo would be the coolest place to have a family reunion, there is a big indoor lodge for big gatherings, cabins that are $11 a night per person, a big field for games, a play ground, and a volleyball court.  They even provide fire wood and the customer service was awesome.

Day 2, we woke up to a cloudy morning with rain on the forecast. It was super humid outside.  We started out our morning at the temple.  We decided that next time we go to Nauvoo,  we want to start off the vacation with a trip to temple first.  It sets such a positive tone for the day and week.  I love this temple, the architecture is so beautiful and even though the spirit is the same in all temples, this one has something special about it.  There had to have been something special about this day, because it seems like the weather always acts up on days that happen to be very special for us, like our wedding day and various anniversaries.  We came out of the temple and it was raining.  Sean went to go get the car, while he did I was able to enjoy the beautiful view of the Mississippi and enjoy standing in this little nook.

Following the temple we went to visit Carthage Jail, where Joseph Smith was held prisoner and was martyred.  Even though the weather was crazy, our car was blowing back and forth on the road, we were at such peace with this day.  The spirit just carried on to this visit.   There is such a special spirit in Nauvoo and at Carthage.  When we arrived it was raining, we watched a video on Joseph Smith, his life and what he has done for humanity.  Following the video we toured the jail, it still had fairly authentic architecture from the time when it held him there, the old wavy windows, keys, and even bars.  I'm grateful we had the opportunity to make it to Carthage, I definitely think it was good to supplement it with our visit to the temple that morning.

 The rain had stopped, we decided to get some pictures of the outside of the temple because we didn't have to opportunity to do so because the weather was so bad when we left the temple earlier.   The weather was perfect when we came back to get pictures.  While we were taking pictures we met another couple who had just left the temple, they were on a road trip across the United States, they were taking advantage of a move and taking their time getting to their new home.  Wouldn't that be amazing?  I think it would be so awesome to do something like that.  I really would much rather fly, but you miss out on so many amazing things along the way to your destination when flying.  If I had to move a long ways away, I think the best way to go about it would be to take your time, and enjoy what there was to see along the way.  

They took this picture of Sean and I for us, we saw them a few other times around Nauvoo that day.  

We spent the rest of the day looking in old shops for books and pictures for ourselves and our new baby. We purchased a cardboard book about the Savior for her, it really is a beautiful little book, there are paintings by Gregg Olsen inside and follows the primary song If The Savior Stood Beside Me.  We also got custard at the ice cream shop there, I don't know if it is the sugar rush or because she can taste what is in the amniotic fluid now, but she goes nuts for sweets, particularly ice cream.  She moves so much after I eat something yummy.  I think it is the cutest.

There were a few things in Old Nauvoo we wanted to see before we ate dinner, we went to a few more places, we visited the blacksmith where we got Prairie rings and we also had the opportunity to tour Brigham Young's home.  Following this we visited the Smith family cemetery.  I had never been there before, it was in a really beautiful location right along the Mississippi River.

After eating dinner at our camp site, we went to to the play Rendezvous, it is put on by the Senior Missionaries, I remember seeing it as a child and loved it.  I was worried Sean would be bored, but he laughed quite a bit.  Following Rendezvous we stopped to see the last half of the dress rehearsal for the Nauvoo British Pageant.  One of the plays was outside and one was inside.  I would like to see the pageant in it's entirety outside when there isn't lightning and thunder going on, from what we did see it was quite spectacular.

That evening we went back to our campsite and made s'mores with a fire made in our fire pit.  We went to bed, and woke up early in hopes of figuring out what time church was.  There was a group of LDS kids from Canada staying at our camp site and they were all getting ready in the shower house, I asked them what time church was and they let us know.  Sean and I assumed that there would be several people there, but we did not expect this.  There were over 1,500 people at sacrament meeting.  It was bigger than stake conferences I have been to.  The ward handled the sacrament with such reverence, especially with that many people there.  Sean and I sat in the farthest row in the back, on the stage.  It was the last thing we did in Nauvoo, we were filled with the spirit as we left to come home.  On our way out we stopped to get one more picture with the temple.  I love it there and hope we can make it back soon.

Week 21

Before I get any further along in my pregnancy and totally eat these words, I guess I better get this out there. I didn't think that I would love being pregnant, but I sort of do.  I’m not sure if I will be this optimistic at 39 weeks when my feet are swollen and I can barely walk, I hope I am, but for today I’m really loving this. At 5 months pregnant, I know I at least like more than half of the experience.  If tomorrow I wake up and it's completely miserable, it's only 4 more months (plus a few weeks), which is crazy!  I've been a part of a lot of experiences for 4 month time periods, it's  practically one semester in college, and it isn't that much time, and looking at the past 5 months, which I have loved, I'm sure I'm going to enjoy these upcoming 4 months as well.  I love being pregnant. I honestly thought I wouldn't like it at all. I thought pregnancy looked awful and I was not really looking forward to it.   I don’t like sharing, I don’t like being reminded that my body has limitations, and I was really stressing about vanity coming into it.  Those that know me well, know that I looked at pregnancy as a miserable life step, I’m a little embarrassed by my past expectations, I’m not saying I would have done it sooner, but I wouldn't have come into it with such a negative outlook.  It’s the most amazing thing I've ever done.  

First, I love being able to provide this service so my daughter can enter this world.  I never thought of it this way, I don’t see it so much as “sharing” anymore even though that is technically what I am doing from a worldly perspective.  It reminds me that my body was a gift, lent to me from Heavenly Father and that it wasn't really mine to begin with.  Even though this is a physical bodily thing, it has helped me develop spiritually in ways I can’t even begin to describe. 

  Secondly, I am limited by what I am able to do physically in some aspects, I can’t ride roller coasters, ride a horse, and several of my dance moves I can’t do anymore because it could harm my baby, but I barely notice these limitations.  Instead of viewing pregnancy as a set of limitations on what I can’t do, I am amazed by what my body is able to do right now.  In some ways I am not even limited at all, my body’s capacity to perform its duties has been magnified. I understand now why people call a baby a miracle, because it truly is.  I was just amazed at how she was developing during my ultra sound from the first one at 8 weeks to the next at 20 weeks.  My body is not limited, it was granted the opportunity to do something more, something greater.  

Lastly, I really thought I would have serious self-esteem issues during pregnancy.  I was so focused on not getting chubby that I was losing sight of the big picture.   I didn't think I would feel pretty until maybe a year after my baby was born, after I had gotten some of my body back.  I don’t just feel cute, or pretty, but I feel truly beautiful.  It’s the first time in my life I can say that confidently without feeling embarrassed or like I’m being self-indulgent.  I’m also alright with whatever outcome needs to happen in terms of vanity in order to get her here.  I’m rubbing my skin with oils to prevent stretch marks, and I’m exercising because it makes me feel good and it’s encouraged by my doctor, but if I have stretch marks after this whole process is over, it isn't the end of the world.  If I’m chubbier than I've ever been, it also isn't the end of the world.   My husband loves me, and I was a little insecure coming into this that he wouldn't be as attracted to me pregnant, which is completely ridiculous because now that I’m experiencing it he hasn't done anything to demonstrate feelings of that nature.  He still tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me maybe even more so now.  I love this and even though it seems like nine months is a long time, it is flying by.  

 I wish I had more time to enjoy all the little things.  I love feeling her move, Sean has been able to feel her move from the outside, he will lay his head on my tummy or when he puts his hand on my tummy he will feel her move then, these moments are some of the best life has to offer.   I’m not sure if it’s the hormones, this new found love for my daughter, or a combination of the two, but I feel happy.  It’s a different “happy” feeling than the other happy moments in my life; it is just a general state of being.  I attribute it to pregnancy.  I’m grateful I have the opportunity to become somebody’s mommy.  It’s been the most fulfilling thing I have ever or could ever do.  

Week 20

Today we had the amazing opportunity to find out the gender of our baby!  I woke up at 7 am for a nine am appointment and couldn’t fall back to sleep.  When we got to our appointment, I was so excited and definitely didn’t think it would last an hour and a half but it did!  I loved getting to see our baby again on a screen, it feels like a long distance relationship in a way, I know she is right here in my tummy but it is so amazing seeing her on the screen!  I remember the first screen our tech brought up it was more of what I guess I would call it an aerial view looking down at our baby so we could see the top of her head and her knees and hands and I couldn’t help but think how cute it was that she was so tiny and squished in there.  The first thing our tech said was that she was wiggly, she really didn’t like being poked and prodded, I felt her move a lot more than usual during our visit.  I knew it was called an anatomy scan, I was just a little surprised at how thorough everything was, he looked at her hands, feet, knees, femurs, kidneys, spine, brain, everything.  Of course he did this before he announced gender.  I was trying really hard to be patient, and not say oh it looks like this or that.  At one point Sean said “I saw some balls”.  The tech continued with the anatomy scan and accidently said the words “her”.  Sean immediately piped up and said “So it’s a girl”, the tech confirmed this and even showed us up on the screen and told daddy, “You definitely didn’t see some balls” (laughing)!  

Here is video of her moving, it's short and nothing to crazy, it just blew my mind to see her bring her hands up to her face.   We think she has my nose and her daddy's chin, but she definitely has a while to cook so we'll see when she actually gets here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGW1HAwPa74

  I was so happy!  The next thing he did was he pulled up a 3-Dimensional picture of her face.  For some reason I thought this wasn’t going to happen for us, when we had our briefing on having a baby they made it seem like our insurance was covering the bare minimum and I thought that the fancy 3-D ultra sounds were extra.  When he pulled up a 3-dimensional view of her face I was so surprised, and amazed, and wowed.  I was so overcome with emotion and I was trying really really hard to get it together because when I cry from joy even, it isn’t one sweet glistening tear down my cheek, I ugly cry and it’s bad.  I was so surprised by this and we even got to see some video of her being squirmy and bringing her hands up by her face I did start to cry.  It was amazing!   I’m so in love with this little girl already.  I already think she is perfect and beautiful; I am going to be one of the worst biased moms out there.  Not only this, but a few things have been coming to me much more easily now, like what crib to buy and what theme I want her nursery to have and look like. My husband and I still need to discuss names, but I’m feeling more confident in the few we have picked out. 

I was able to share in my joy this evening with my friend Liz.  She just let me tell her all about it and I think as a new mommy I really needed that.  Digital media and texting is awesome, but it takes the joy out of being able to really share things the way we use to.  I’m grateful she listened and shared in my joy tonight we talked about my little girl and Liz’s adopted niece for a long time.  I’m so excited and ready to get shopping! 

My whole life, I wanted girls, and had so many people say that because I was such a girly girl I was going to get all the boys.  I was sort of preparing myself for it to be a boy; I honestly didn’t believe I could get a little girl.  My in laws all have girls and several of my friends have girls, I definitely thought I would get to watch everyone else raise little girls around me and I would never get to be a mother to a girl, and I was becoming ok with it.  I was preparing myself for it to be a boy, and honestly thought it was a boy, this little girl has been so drama free this whole pregnancy (biggest reason I thought it was a boy).  I hope she stays this even tempered the rest of her life, and if not I embrace all the emotional responses that come from raising daughter.  I want to have as many interesting and new experiences with her. It has been fun saying things like my “little girl” and “daughter”.  I remember when I first got married, I had so much fun saying husband, and now it’s kind of the same thing.  Daughter daughter daughter, I have a daughter,  I could say it all day long. I love her so much already and I can’t wait to meet her!   

Finding out gender in the morning!

It's like Christmas eve for us right now!  I'm so stinking excited!!!! We get to find out the gender of our baby in the morning, and we have our fingers crossed everything goes well and that the baby cooperates and isn't shy!   I have been smiling all day like a dork for no reason.  I don't care if it's a boy, I don't care if it's a girl, I see positives to having either one.  Even if something happens where the baby isn't in the right position, I can't wait to see him or her on the big screen again, it's going to be exciting seeing how big our baby has gotten since our first 9 week ultrasound.

Unrelated to my excitement, I guess I'll share a few funny stories about people asking about my pregnancy that have happened in the last two days.  I had my first stranger ask me if I was pregnant.  I guess I must be showing that good then.  What a brave and bold fellow.  Not only did he ask me if I was expecting, but he asked me at the gym.  Dear men, as a rule of thumb, don't ever ask a woman if she is expecting at the gym, what an awful place to pose such a question! He really was quite nice, an older man, probably had some teenagers, I had just come out of the bathroom and he read my shirt which had "Can't Live Without Dance" on it.  I went straight from work and that was the shirt I happened to have worn to work.  I told him I was a dance teacher, and that was why I was wearing it, he told me that T-shirts are like billboards, that you just have to read them.  I continued to walk, and then out of no where he asks me if I was expecting.   I said yes, and he said "Congratulations and enjoy your work out." It didn't end there though, after I got a drink from the drinking fountain he comes over to me as I make my way to the running track and asks me when I was due, I tell him, and then he goes " you don't plan on running 26 miles in this heat do you?"  Lucky for him, I wasn't planning on running I was walking to the weight section, I wasn't in a preachy mood that day and I've been on cloud nine with this ultra sound coming up so I've been nicer than usual, I've been less of a diva, I've been a little less snappy, because goodness if he would have caught me in just a slightly different mood I probably would have ripped him a new one.  I told him no, I was just walking.  He then left me alone.  Many would have been proud to see me in that circumstance, I was nice.  If a pregnant woman wants to run 26 miles and can do it, I would high five her.   Am I going to get a lecture every time I go to the gym?  Do people not know that it's good for women to work out during pregnancy and if she did it before she was pregnant, for the most part she can do it while she is pregnant as well?  I'm going to try really hard to be nice when things like this happen, and with the whole belly touching thing.  I've decided to let people do it, even though I think it is the weirdest thing for a stranger to ask that, but I've heard it is way way way more weird when someone asks after the baby has been born, I figure I'll let it be cute now.

I had my second person almost ask if I was pregnant, but this one was way more sweet and it was just funny.  One of my students drew the short straw, I hadn't officially told any of the students at the studio just random ones at random times, and today one of the teens in my class was looking at my belly and was stumbling all over her words " Mrs. Heatherly?  Are you................ you know.............are you ummmm..... well......."  I told her she was totally fine to ask the question, because I was.  Then I got an uproar of your pregnant?  That was a fun moment.  I also had a colleague of mine say that I'm finally starting to show so and that it was exciting!  People love babies!   It's been a wonderful day, I'm so excited to see our baby tomorrow!   I think tomorrow is going to be great as well!

Week 19

One of the biggest reality checks for me is realizing that I am going to be a mommy soon, but it is just as big of a reality check realizing that Sean is going to be a daddy. We have been married for 3 years and before that we dated for 4 years.  He has grown so much from the person I started dating 7 years ago.  Sean has taken on the responsibility of husband beautifully and magnified that  in every sense.  It's been touching to see him prepare for his role as a father.  I feel extremely lucky to have Sean as a partner to raise our baby.  He has also done his fair share of baby research in items to purchase, one night I remember he was on the computer forever looking for just the right stroller, the next morning he showed me which one we were getting, I couldn't argue with him at all because it was exactly what was right for us.  It was a huge relief that he took care of that so now I didn't have to.  He has come with me to every doctors appointment, kept his cool and composure, and calmly reminded me of things I forgot to ask my doctor on occasion.  He is so excited about our baby, and mentions how neat it is going to be all the time.  

Today he was asked to give a talk during sacrament meeting in church.  His topic was righteous fathers, and he mentioned that he was grateful he had the opportunity to study for this as preparation for our baby. I feel so blessed that I get to parent my child with a man who has such a great understanding of his responsibilities and roles as a father in nurturing the spiritual needs of his children and their physical needs.  One of my favorite things he said in his talk was a quote from Howard W. Hunter  "Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  This brings me great comfort coming into the unknown.  Parenthood doesn't look like it is the easiest thing ever, I've seen couples fail at loving one another and as a result have hurt their children.  This scares me, but through his kind words and effort to place his family and gospel first in his life, Sean is constantly reassuring me that he will place the wants and needs of his family above his own.  In concluding his talk Sean mentioned the example of of his own father, that his example of righteousness are memories that he will cherish forever.  

Later in church Sean came to help me in the nursery.  We had a really fun time together.   He did such a great job with the children, he connected with some of them in ways I haven't been able to in the past.

The last half hour he had a book in his had practically the whole time. Seeing how he interacts with children and his nieces has been another big reassurance for what a great father he is going to be. I'm a big believer that everyone has their gifts and contributes differently in their part in the world.  Sean has so many positive traits and qualities that I struggle with.  He is such a patient person, something that I will probably be working on in a really long time,  I know this will come in handy during those first few weeks with a newborn.  I can't say it enough, I feel so lucky to have him embark on this journey with me.

Sean is going to be a great father, he has already exemplified great principles that a good father should have.  Our children are going to be blessed to have him as I have been blessed to have him as a husband.  

Week 18

In my sophomore year of college, I decided to fulfill a goal of mine and participate in a triathlon.  I signed up for a class that helped students train for one.  It was the most active I have ever been in my entire life.  I swam on Mondays and Wednesdays, went to a cycling class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and ran on Fridays.  On top of this I was also a part of my collegiate dance team where we met for at least 90 minutes every day, and I was also signed up for recreational dance classes.  I was doing something exercise related Monday-Friday on average of at least 5 hours a day.   It was the most fit I have ever been, it was also the hungriest I have ever been…… until now.  I remember back then that it got to the point that I was GAINING weight because I was eating so much to sustain all of the activity I was doing.  I wasn't participating in those activities to lose weight, but I sure as heck wasn't going to allow myself to gain as a result of all of my activity.  So I had to be careful, because if I didn't eat enough I got the worst headache and became so incredibly tired during my workouts.  It became a matter of eating more of the RIGHT stuff instead of simply just eating more.  Once I did this, I lost some weight and was able to maintain it.  When I ate certain things, and how often was a big factor in this success.  I had to have multiple snacks, and I had to have a mixture of complex carbs in the mornings along with proteins and some fats. 

The reason I bring this up is because all of a sudden, I have become that hungry again. 

Like ALL THE TIME.  Which, in growing a human is completely understandable, but holy cow.  So I have had 2 days where it seemed like a completely hopeless cycle of constantly eating,  remember a few posts ago how I said that I quit loving my usual pastry and carbs and started loving weird things like lemons and kale?  Well that went away and now I love all the things.   Like doughnuts and funnel cakes are what I want most, and it’s pretty bad.  So yesterday I had a bad day, and I caved to whatever my body wanted, and I was still starving by the end of the day!  So last night I went back to my memories of when I was the hungriest, and thought back to how I use to do things when I was trying to support all of that activity.  Today I had oatmeal (old fashioned kind that can’t be cooked in the microwave, that stuff fills you up) and an egg for breakfast with some milk (instead of the piece of toast and cheese I had yesterday).  For lunch I had rice, broccoli &beef along with a little indulgence in my husband’s sweet and sour chicken.  For snacks I’ve had popcorn and a plum, and I also had a cookie(  seriously if I mentioned the treats I had yesterday, they make a cookie seem like it’s not that bad), dinner I had pork chops, eggplant & apples and a dinner roll.  I’m not starving, I’m not exhausted, and I’m not trying to think of what I desperately want next.  I also was much more active today, I went to a cycling class today which yesterday the only thing I did was run a little bit with my dance kids.  I have been trying really hard to eat healthy, but I think it’s time to up the ante because my body is so demanding of all the things!  I of course will allow myself some treats, but I think it’s time to buckle down and be careful because I want to feed my baby nutrient rich food and I want to give myself the strength to do the things I need to do.

Getting away from my fitness pulpit can I just say, pregnancy cravings are the coolest thing ever.  I use to like kale, and I liked the occasional lemon in my water, and doughnuts were a thing, but holy moly those things have become heaven these past few weeks.  Nothing has been more satisfying than biting into a lime or lemon covered in salt (I know, it sounds gross!), or downing a whole salad bowl full of Tuscan kale salad, or getting a doughnut on national doughnut day.   It rocks. 

Here’s a bit of an over share, while talking about fitness, I guess I will mention what a weird sensation it is to be on a cycling bike in a cycling class with a belly now.  It was really hard to exercise in my first trimester, it felt like I had eaten a whole bag of Cheetos and drank nothing but mountain dew and that’s what I had to work with, I was out of breathe and so tired!  Now I have the energy to work out in my second trimester, but if I do anything with the slightest amount of bouncing, I’m off to the bathroom.  It’s kind of funny & kind of not.  I feel really bad for my dog, we use to go running together outside, our favorite place to run is a long stretch in the middle of some fields in Bellevue, we tried that a few days ago, and I was trying so hard not to wet my pants on the way to the car.  So now we go on walks, poor guy, we’ll just get bigger together.  I have to run at the gym now where I can take frequent bathroom breaks.  I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to keep going to cycling class either, I had stop and go to the bathroom in the middle of class today and even after that I swore I was going to have an accident, in my head I kept praying “Dear Lord, please don’t let me go potty all over this bike!”  Supposedly the whole, having to go all the time disappears in your second trimester for a little while, the only improvement I’ve had from the first trimester is I don’t wake up at 3 am and at 7 am and I’m able to get through the night.  So that’s a thing.  My doctor gave me a brace for running for when I get bigger, I thought wearing it might help but it made things worse. I could start swimming again, but our gym’s pool has the strangest hours, it’s never open when I can go.  I have still been lifting with Sean, I have had to take the weight down and do more reps now.  I’m so determined to keep exercise a part of my life, it’s just getting harder, which is understandable.  It makes me feel good, and always makes me feel better if I’m having a bad day.  The struggle is real, I envy and admire women who are able to keep it up throughout the whole nine months.  We will see if we make it, no matter what I’m determined to keep on walking and lifting at least.

Week 17

I can't remember why we were up extremely late, but we were, Sean and I were talking on the couch, it was about 2 am, and I felt the baby move for the first time!  I was so excited and knew what it was, so I stayed awake a while longer hoping to feel it again, and NOTHING!  I felt absolutely nothing for several days after and felt silly for making a big deal about it (because I did!)  The past few days however I have been feeling a lot more movement, especially right around midnight before we go to bed.  I've read that babies in the womb sleep while mom is awake and when mom is asleep they wake up, but I didn't think that would be established until later.  I feel some movement here and there in the middle of the day but most of it at night and in the early morning.  It's been fun and I can't wait until Sean is able to feel them as well.  The other night I had a dream that we were finding out the babies gender at our ultra-sound appointment and woke up right before the tech told us!  I seriously cannot wait to know what we are having!   It would be just my luck that the babies legs are crossed or something because I want to know so bad!  Only two more weeks!

Right now we have cribs on the mind.  I use to know exactly what I wanted, but now that it's actually here, I don't know what I want anymore!  I use to have an idea of what looked nice, I even had Sean build one back in college (2009) when he was a  woodworking major that he sold at an auction.  I told him I wanted him to get practice in for when it was our turn, now that it's our turn, he won't be building us one because he is so busy. I look at the crib he built and thought it was beautiful then and still think it is beautiful, but I don't want that exact crib anymore.  I had no idea how much went into having a safe crib, that simple was better.

  I feel like once we get a crib picked out and purchased everything else for the nursery will fall into place, so it has been the only thing I have spent hours researching online for recently. It definitely has to be timeless, and something that can grow with our baby.  We want a universal crib, a crib that can change into a toddler bed and then become a headboard for a full and stay with our baby for the majority of his or her childhood.  We have been saving for the baby for a while, and want this to be a smart purchase.  Going into pregnancy I was fairly confident I would do alright with the baby, of course I have those moments where I freak out and think to myself, "I've never done this before! How are we going to survive?", but I truly have never been this type of consumer before.  It's a whole new world of purchasing items that you have no clue about.  I'm grateful I learned how to do in depth research in college, because I would probably be extremely overwhelmed with all of the information that goes along with purchasing baby gear and wouldn't know where to start looking.  I have found the words and advice of others to be the most helpful. Where did you buy your crib from?  What did you like about it and what didn't you like?  Did you find a particular brand that was the safest and most accommodating to your needs?  I would love to hear from you!