Week 20

Today we had the amazing opportunity to find out the gender of our baby!  I woke up at 7 am for a nine am appointment and couldn’t fall back to sleep.  When we got to our appointment, I was so excited and definitely didn’t think it would last an hour and a half but it did!  I loved getting to see our baby again on a screen, it feels like a long distance relationship in a way, I know she is right here in my tummy but it is so amazing seeing her on the screen!  I remember the first screen our tech brought up it was more of what I guess I would call it an aerial view looking down at our baby so we could see the top of her head and her knees and hands and I couldn’t help but think how cute it was that she was so tiny and squished in there.  The first thing our tech said was that she was wiggly, she really didn’t like being poked and prodded, I felt her move a lot more than usual during our visit.  I knew it was called an anatomy scan, I was just a little surprised at how thorough everything was, he looked at her hands, feet, knees, femurs, kidneys, spine, brain, everything.  Of course he did this before he announced gender.  I was trying really hard to be patient, and not say oh it looks like this or that.  At one point Sean said “I saw some balls”.  The tech continued with the anatomy scan and accidently said the words “her”.  Sean immediately piped up and said “So it’s a girl”, the tech confirmed this and even showed us up on the screen and told daddy, “You definitely didn’t see some balls” (laughing)!  

Here is video of her moving, it's short and nothing to crazy, it just blew my mind to see her bring her hands up to her face.   We think she has my nose and her daddy's chin, but she definitely has a while to cook so we'll see when she actually gets here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGW1HAwPa74

  I was so happy!  The next thing he did was he pulled up a 3-Dimensional picture of her face.  For some reason I thought this wasn’t going to happen for us, when we had our briefing on having a baby they made it seem like our insurance was covering the bare minimum and I thought that the fancy 3-D ultra sounds were extra.  When he pulled up a 3-dimensional view of her face I was so surprised, and amazed, and wowed.  I was so overcome with emotion and I was trying really really hard to get it together because when I cry from joy even, it isn’t one sweet glistening tear down my cheek, I ugly cry and it’s bad.  I was so surprised by this and we even got to see some video of her being squirmy and bringing her hands up by her face I did start to cry.  It was amazing!   I’m so in love with this little girl already.  I already think she is perfect and beautiful; I am going to be one of the worst biased moms out there.  Not only this, but a few things have been coming to me much more easily now, like what crib to buy and what theme I want her nursery to have and look like. My husband and I still need to discuss names, but I’m feeling more confident in the few we have picked out. 

I was able to share in my joy this evening with my friend Liz.  She just let me tell her all about it and I think as a new mommy I really needed that.  Digital media and texting is awesome, but it takes the joy out of being able to really share things the way we use to.  I’m grateful she listened and shared in my joy tonight we talked about my little girl and Liz’s adopted niece for a long time.  I’m so excited and ready to get shopping! 

My whole life, I wanted girls, and had so many people say that because I was such a girly girl I was going to get all the boys.  I was sort of preparing myself for it to be a boy; I honestly didn’t believe I could get a little girl.  My in laws all have girls and several of my friends have girls, I definitely thought I would get to watch everyone else raise little girls around me and I would never get to be a mother to a girl, and I was becoming ok with it.  I was preparing myself for it to be a boy, and honestly thought it was a boy, this little girl has been so drama free this whole pregnancy (biggest reason I thought it was a boy).  I hope she stays this even tempered the rest of her life, and if not I embrace all the emotional responses that come from raising daughter.  I want to have as many interesting and new experiences with her. It has been fun saying things like my “little girl” and “daughter”.  I remember when I first got married, I had so much fun saying husband, and now it’s kind of the same thing.  Daughter daughter daughter, I have a daughter,  I could say it all day long. I love her so much already and I can’t wait to meet her!   

Finding out gender in the morning!

It's like Christmas eve for us right now!  I'm so stinking excited!!!! We get to find out the gender of our baby in the morning, and we have our fingers crossed everything goes well and that the baby cooperates and isn't shy!   I have been smiling all day like a dork for no reason.  I don't care if it's a boy, I don't care if it's a girl, I see positives to having either one.  Even if something happens where the baby isn't in the right position, I can't wait to see him or her on the big screen again, it's going to be exciting seeing how big our baby has gotten since our first 9 week ultrasound.

Unrelated to my excitement, I guess I'll share a few funny stories about people asking about my pregnancy that have happened in the last two days.  I had my first stranger ask me if I was pregnant.  I guess I must be showing that good then.  What a brave and bold fellow.  Not only did he ask me if I was expecting, but he asked me at the gym.  Dear men, as a rule of thumb, don't ever ask a woman if she is expecting at the gym, what an awful place to pose such a question! He really was quite nice, an older man, probably had some teenagers, I had just come out of the bathroom and he read my shirt which had "Can't Live Without Dance" on it.  I went straight from work and that was the shirt I happened to have worn to work.  I told him I was a dance teacher, and that was why I was wearing it, he told me that T-shirts are like billboards, that you just have to read them.  I continued to walk, and then out of no where he asks me if I was expecting.   I said yes, and he said "Congratulations and enjoy your work out." It didn't end there though, after I got a drink from the drinking fountain he comes over to me as I make my way to the running track and asks me when I was due, I tell him, and then he goes " you don't plan on running 26 miles in this heat do you?"  Lucky for him, I wasn't planning on running I was walking to the weight section, I wasn't in a preachy mood that day and I've been on cloud nine with this ultra sound coming up so I've been nicer than usual, I've been less of a diva, I've been a little less snappy, because goodness if he would have caught me in just a slightly different mood I probably would have ripped him a new one.  I told him no, I was just walking.  He then left me alone.  Many would have been proud to see me in that circumstance, I was nice.  If a pregnant woman wants to run 26 miles and can do it, I would high five her.   Am I going to get a lecture every time I go to the gym?  Do people not know that it's good for women to work out during pregnancy and if she did it before she was pregnant, for the most part she can do it while she is pregnant as well?  I'm going to try really hard to be nice when things like this happen, and with the whole belly touching thing.  I've decided to let people do it, even though I think it is the weirdest thing for a stranger to ask that, but I've heard it is way way way more weird when someone asks after the baby has been born, I figure I'll let it be cute now.

I had my second person almost ask if I was pregnant, but this one was way more sweet and it was just funny.  One of my students drew the short straw, I hadn't officially told any of the students at the studio just random ones at random times, and today one of the teens in my class was looking at my belly and was stumbling all over her words " Mrs. Heatherly?  Are you................ you know.............are you ummmm..... well......."  I told her she was totally fine to ask the question, because I was.  Then I got an uproar of your pregnant?  That was a fun moment.  I also had a colleague of mine say that I'm finally starting to show so and that it was exciting!  People love babies!   It's been a wonderful day, I'm so excited to see our baby tomorrow!   I think tomorrow is going to be great as well!

Week 19

One of the biggest reality checks for me is realizing that I am going to be a mommy soon, but it is just as big of a reality check realizing that Sean is going to be a daddy. We have been married for 3 years and before that we dated for 4 years.  He has grown so much from the person I started dating 7 years ago.  Sean has taken on the responsibility of husband beautifully and magnified that  in every sense.  It's been touching to see him prepare for his role as a father.  I feel extremely lucky to have Sean as a partner to raise our baby.  He has also done his fair share of baby research in items to purchase, one night I remember he was on the computer forever looking for just the right stroller, the next morning he showed me which one we were getting, I couldn't argue with him at all because it was exactly what was right for us.  It was a huge relief that he took care of that so now I didn't have to.  He has come with me to every doctors appointment, kept his cool and composure, and calmly reminded me of things I forgot to ask my doctor on occasion.  He is so excited about our baby, and mentions how neat it is going to be all the time.  

Today he was asked to give a talk during sacrament meeting in church.  His topic was righteous fathers, and he mentioned that he was grateful he had the opportunity to study for this as preparation for our baby. I feel so blessed that I get to parent my child with a man who has such a great understanding of his responsibilities and roles as a father in nurturing the spiritual needs of his children and their physical needs.  One of my favorite things he said in his talk was a quote from Howard W. Hunter  "Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  This brings me great comfort coming into the unknown.  Parenthood doesn't look like it is the easiest thing ever, I've seen couples fail at loving one another and as a result have hurt their children.  This scares me, but through his kind words and effort to place his family and gospel first in his life, Sean is constantly reassuring me that he will place the wants and needs of his family above his own.  In concluding his talk Sean mentioned the example of of his own father, that his example of righteousness are memories that he will cherish forever.  

Later in church Sean came to help me in the nursery.  We had a really fun time together.   He did such a great job with the children, he connected with some of them in ways I haven't been able to in the past.

The last half hour he had a book in his had practically the whole time. Seeing how he interacts with children and his nieces has been another big reassurance for what a great father he is going to be. I'm a big believer that everyone has their gifts and contributes differently in their part in the world.  Sean has so many positive traits and qualities that I struggle with.  He is such a patient person, something that I will probably be working on in a really long time,  I know this will come in handy during those first few weeks with a newborn.  I can't say it enough, I feel so lucky to have him embark on this journey with me.

Sean is going to be a great father, he has already exemplified great principles that a good father should have.  Our children are going to be blessed to have him as I have been blessed to have him as a husband.  

Week 18

In my sophomore year of college, I decided to fulfill a goal of mine and participate in a triathlon.  I signed up for a class that helped students train for one.  It was the most active I have ever been in my entire life.  I swam on Mondays and Wednesdays, went to a cycling class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and ran on Fridays.  On top of this I was also a part of my collegiate dance team where we met for at least 90 minutes every day, and I was also signed up for recreational dance classes.  I was doing something exercise related Monday-Friday on average of at least 5 hours a day.   It was the most fit I have ever been, it was also the hungriest I have ever been…… until now.  I remember back then that it got to the point that I was GAINING weight because I was eating so much to sustain all of the activity I was doing.  I wasn't participating in those activities to lose weight, but I sure as heck wasn't going to allow myself to gain as a result of all of my activity.  So I had to be careful, because if I didn't eat enough I got the worst headache and became so incredibly tired during my workouts.  It became a matter of eating more of the RIGHT stuff instead of simply just eating more.  Once I did this, I lost some weight and was able to maintain it.  When I ate certain things, and how often was a big factor in this success.  I had to have multiple snacks, and I had to have a mixture of complex carbs in the mornings along with proteins and some fats. 

The reason I bring this up is because all of a sudden, I have become that hungry again. 

Like ALL THE TIME.  Which, in growing a human is completely understandable, but holy cow.  So I have had 2 days where it seemed like a completely hopeless cycle of constantly eating,  remember a few posts ago how I said that I quit loving my usual pastry and carbs and started loving weird things like lemons and kale?  Well that went away and now I love all the things.   Like doughnuts and funnel cakes are what I want most, and it’s pretty bad.  So yesterday I had a bad day, and I caved to whatever my body wanted, and I was still starving by the end of the day!  So last night I went back to my memories of when I was the hungriest, and thought back to how I use to do things when I was trying to support all of that activity.  Today I had oatmeal (old fashioned kind that can’t be cooked in the microwave, that stuff fills you up) and an egg for breakfast with some milk (instead of the piece of toast and cheese I had yesterday).  For lunch I had rice, broccoli &beef along with a little indulgence in my husband’s sweet and sour chicken.  For snacks I’ve had popcorn and a plum, and I also had a cookie(  seriously if I mentioned the treats I had yesterday, they make a cookie seem like it’s not that bad), dinner I had pork chops, eggplant & apples and a dinner roll.  I’m not starving, I’m not exhausted, and I’m not trying to think of what I desperately want next.  I also was much more active today, I went to a cycling class today which yesterday the only thing I did was run a little bit with my dance kids.  I have been trying really hard to eat healthy, but I think it’s time to up the ante because my body is so demanding of all the things!  I of course will allow myself some treats, but I think it’s time to buckle down and be careful because I want to feed my baby nutrient rich food and I want to give myself the strength to do the things I need to do.

Getting away from my fitness pulpit can I just say, pregnancy cravings are the coolest thing ever.  I use to like kale, and I liked the occasional lemon in my water, and doughnuts were a thing, but holy moly those things have become heaven these past few weeks.  Nothing has been more satisfying than biting into a lime or lemon covered in salt (I know, it sounds gross!), or downing a whole salad bowl full of Tuscan kale salad, or getting a doughnut on national doughnut day.   It rocks. 

Here’s a bit of an over share, while talking about fitness, I guess I will mention what a weird sensation it is to be on a cycling bike in a cycling class with a belly now.  It was really hard to exercise in my first trimester, it felt like I had eaten a whole bag of Cheetos and drank nothing but mountain dew and that’s what I had to work with, I was out of breathe and so tired!  Now I have the energy to work out in my second trimester, but if I do anything with the slightest amount of bouncing, I’m off to the bathroom.  It’s kind of funny & kind of not.  I feel really bad for my dog, we use to go running together outside, our favorite place to run is a long stretch in the middle of some fields in Bellevue, we tried that a few days ago, and I was trying so hard not to wet my pants on the way to the car.  So now we go on walks, poor guy, we’ll just get bigger together.  I have to run at the gym now where I can take frequent bathroom breaks.  I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to keep going to cycling class either, I had stop and go to the bathroom in the middle of class today and even after that I swore I was going to have an accident, in my head I kept praying “Dear Lord, please don’t let me go potty all over this bike!”  Supposedly the whole, having to go all the time disappears in your second trimester for a little while, the only improvement I’ve had from the first trimester is I don’t wake up at 3 am and at 7 am and I’m able to get through the night.  So that’s a thing.  My doctor gave me a brace for running for when I get bigger, I thought wearing it might help but it made things worse. I could start swimming again, but our gym’s pool has the strangest hours, it’s never open when I can go.  I have still been lifting with Sean, I have had to take the weight down and do more reps now.  I’m so determined to keep exercise a part of my life, it’s just getting harder, which is understandable.  It makes me feel good, and always makes me feel better if I’m having a bad day.  The struggle is real, I envy and admire women who are able to keep it up throughout the whole nine months.  We will see if we make it, no matter what I’m determined to keep on walking and lifting at least.

Week 17

I can't remember why we were up extremely late, but we were, Sean and I were talking on the couch, it was about 2 am, and I felt the baby move for the first time!  I was so excited and knew what it was, so I stayed awake a while longer hoping to feel it again, and NOTHING!  I felt absolutely nothing for several days after and felt silly for making a big deal about it (because I did!)  The past few days however I have been feeling a lot more movement, especially right around midnight before we go to bed.  I've read that babies in the womb sleep while mom is awake and when mom is asleep they wake up, but I didn't think that would be established until later.  I feel some movement here and there in the middle of the day but most of it at night and in the early morning.  It's been fun and I can't wait until Sean is able to feel them as well.  The other night I had a dream that we were finding out the babies gender at our ultra-sound appointment and woke up right before the tech told us!  I seriously cannot wait to know what we are having!   It would be just my luck that the babies legs are crossed or something because I want to know so bad!  Only two more weeks!

Right now we have cribs on the mind.  I use to know exactly what I wanted, but now that it's actually here, I don't know what I want anymore!  I use to have an idea of what looked nice, I even had Sean build one back in college (2009) when he was a  woodworking major that he sold at an auction.  I told him I wanted him to get practice in for when it was our turn, now that it's our turn, he won't be building us one because he is so busy. I look at the crib he built and thought it was beautiful then and still think it is beautiful, but I don't want that exact crib anymore.  I had no idea how much went into having a safe crib, that simple was better.

  I feel like once we get a crib picked out and purchased everything else for the nursery will fall into place, so it has been the only thing I have spent hours researching online for recently. It definitely has to be timeless, and something that can grow with our baby.  We want a universal crib, a crib that can change into a toddler bed and then become a headboard for a full and stay with our baby for the majority of his or her childhood.  We have been saving for the baby for a while, and want this to be a smart purchase.  Going into pregnancy I was fairly confident I would do alright with the baby, of course I have those moments where I freak out and think to myself, "I've never done this before! How are we going to survive?", but I truly have never been this type of consumer before.  It's a whole new world of purchasing items that you have no clue about.  I'm grateful I learned how to do in depth research in college, because I would probably be extremely overwhelmed with all of the information that goes along with purchasing baby gear and wouldn't know where to start looking.  I have found the words and advice of others to be the most helpful. Where did you buy your crib from?  What did you like about it and what didn't you like?  Did you find a particular brand that was the safest and most accommodating to your needs?  I would love to hear from you!